So long, Summer!!

This morning, I arose with excitement. That feeling that I can only describe as "like I'm falling in love", has been teasing my senses, again. Each year around this time, when the Summer fades into Fall, there is just something that comes over me. And I love it.

But this year, for the first time since moving to Nashville, I am just a little more greatful for this present season... and I suppose I'll give credit to growing up a little, and gaining perspective as more years of life pass by. It used to be that I would rush this time along... waiting, hoping.... longing for the days of Apple cider and falling leaves... but time has made me different now, and so I'd like to stop and ponder what I've enjoyed about Summer!



This summer has been a time of restored joy, in the deepest sense... not just restoration from a setback, but a "priming of the well within" if you will. You know those Living Waters, the Bible says we have... well, I can feel them flowing again within me.
It's been filled with reconnection with old friends and the re-establishment of old dreams! Yes, Summer is a time of being fully awake and alive!


FLIP FLOPS!!!! Need I say more! I adore the feeling of freedom... lazying around in floppy shoes of every hue. Since I am most happy when I'm wearing these are the next best thing!
This year, I found many new ones, but two pair became my favorites and seem to never leave my feet. One was a pair of cozy grey ones that looked and felt like your favorite soft t-shirt... and the other were a fabulous pair of black ones with a rhinestone circle in the center that reminded me of the eternity necklaces! So pretty! My silly sophistication.... rhinestone and denim diva that I am...lol.
I will miss wearing them the most :0)


Though I did not take an actual vacation this year, I must say that is one of the best parts of summer. Being at the beach, in a great city or up in the mountains when the days are long and free time is plentiful... there's just nothing like it!

Speaking of summer trips, I used to travel across country to Colorado the end of every July. Long car rides are so much fun! But not through Kansas... ugh (sorry if you're from there and you love it). It is by far one of the most boring states I have ever travelled through...
BUT there is a redemptive moment though... one of my fondest memories of those drives, was when after hours of flat land... nothingness... the feeling of desertion (j/k), we would suddenly come upon a field of sunflowers !!! The would seem to stretch for miles and miles!!
Just amazing.... I was always blown away that such a gorgeous scene would be placed out in the middle of nowhere! God is so sweet to give everyone and everything SOMETHING beautiful!!
selah, huh?

There's been so many beautiful things....

Sweet tea and lemonade sipped on patios with good friends...
kids playin' in sprinklers....
Sunshine and soft rains.... at the same time...
The Call 7.7.07
air conditioning in my new car...
falling in love all over again...

just a few memories that have made this Summer... a good one. I'm so thankful!



Daddy,

Thank you for the beauty of another season... today I celebrate the joys and the sweetness of this Summer '07. Wow! You know the full story, of just how much restoration and newness You brought to my life. You've taught me to love, in deeper ways and to embrace the things I don't understand... even if they are a simple as a season... timing. I'm so glad that Your ways are much higher than mine... and that although it took all of these years for me to really value the days of Sunshine...You are so patient and loving. Thank You.
I'm in awe of all that You do.
Bless each friend, new and old.
Continue the restoration and the setting right of all things in my life.
Thank you for new things and fresh adventures... for flip flops and happy hearts!
And for allowing me to fall in love with you, all over again.

I'm amazed by You!
amen,
:0)

InspiRED...

Though I've always been a visual person, it seems that I am affected more deeply than ever, by images lately.
This one, in particular has inspired me to write creatively... giving life to a character and a story of what takes place on this particular day, beneath this tree. Ideas are dancing through my head and I feel a certain satisfaction, just to bring something to life. These are the days that I feel honored to be a writer.

Autumn is coming.
The thought of it makes me smile.

Summer is almost over... and I am sooo glad to feel the temperatures lower and the evening breezes begin. Excitement stirs for cozy sweaters, falling leaves and Pumpkin Spice Lattes... but I sure will miss my flip flops!

Ahh... another change of seasons. It's one of the few guarantees that we have.

Addio Pavarotti...

Today, the world said farewell to one of music's most majestic offerings... the unique and dazzling voice of Luciano Pavarotti!
What a shock it was to sit down this morning, begin my daily rituals at my desk and find there on the front page of MSN, that The Voice of Opera, had finished his journey.

Having spent 5 years of my life studying the vocal athletics we call "Opera", Pavarotti was in many ways, like a distant mentor. A "natural", is what he was called. Very few performers can exhibit such tremendous ability in a way that seems almost effortless! He did!
And my life was impacted by his example.

So tonight, Lord... I give you thanks for your son. The Pavarotti!
The name sounds so big, so huge to a world who set him in high places. He was adored and honored. Yet, I know that it was YOUR VOICE that sung through Him... and YOUR ABILITIES that were put on display.
Bravo, Daddy! You did an awesome job, through Him.
Thank you that He is resting from his labor. Now bring comfort to his family, loved ones, friends and admirers that he leaves to continue their journey to You. Hold them close and soothe them with Your Love.
I praise You for a life that resounded with Your Greatness!
Thank you... for it's permanent imprints upon my life.
I will cherish what you've done, forever.
With a greatful heart... amen,

tracye lynn

HeartStrum: Under the Tuscan Sun

Okay... so I'm introducing today... a little thing called "Heartstrums". To me, it's a cute little way to describe those ah ha! or Light bulb moments when something really makes sense in a "feel-good" kinda way. You know, when you just get a sweet melody of understanding that plucks your heart...so cheesy as it may seem (and I do like cheese)... I bring you my first "HeartStrum"!

I am really enjoying the beginnings of my day off... this Labor Day '07. The morning began after another late night that ended well into the morning. Strangely that has been the norm for me for a few months now. I'm finally beginning to LIKE it! Who would have ever thought I'd be a night owl?

So my morning began around 10am, and I rolled out of bed and landed at my computer. Emails, myspace, blog reading... how nice to just catch up and feel so connected to so many people. Random pieces of breakfast here and there, peach tea and a sudoku later, I find myself lying cozily on the couch soaking in the beautiful scenery from the movie "Under the Tuscan Sun".

I haven't scen this movie since Renee and I watched it when it was in the theaters.

The gorgeous display of Tuscany... so rich to take in.

As I watched though... I found myself impressed by so many profound statements.

Had this movie changed... or had I?

Back in 2003, I had not gone through the life events that are now logged in the photo albums and scrapbooks of my mind. I could not identify with Frances' life as deeply as I can today.

What a difference 4 years makes.

So I find my heart swelling open as a flower that senses daylight, after a long night as I am touched by several moments.

Just to bring you into the theme of the movie... I'll tell you the general jist:
Frances, has spontaneously bought a house during a vacation in Tuscany. She has recently been divorced and decided that she just can't bare to return to the States. One day, well into the process of remodeling this 300 year old home, she begins to question her reasons for holding on to hope... for moving toward a faded dream of a husband and children... and for investing such time, money and even more costly emotions into building this dream that has not even a shadow of appearing.

Martini, a dear new friend says this -

Martini: Signora, between Austria and Italy, there is a section of the Alps called the Semmering. It is an impossibly steep, very high part of the mountains. They built a train track over these Alps to connect Vienna and Venice. They built these tracks even before there was a train in existence that could make the trip. They built it because they knew some day, the train would come.

He also, getting lost in the depth of the moment and intoxified by the beauty of an exposed and questioning heart, says -

Martini: Signora. Please stop being so sad. If you continue like this, I will be forced to make love to you. And I've never been unfaithful to my wife.

(What that must have meant to hear those words... for so many reason...).

And the chord that has struck me the most, so far (I was interrupted by a phone call and then distracted by bells and dings of message notifications and confirmations of this evenings plans)... was this...

Frances: Do you know the most surprising thing about divorce? It doesn't actually kill you. Like a bullet to the heart or a head-on car wreck. It should. When someone you've promised to cherish till death do you part says "I never loved you," it should kill you instantly. You shouldn't have to wake up day after day after that, trying to understand how in the world you didn't know. The light just never went on, you know. I must have known, of course, but I was too scared to see the truth. Then fear just makes you so stupid.

Martini: No, it's not stupid, Signora Mayes. L'amore e cieco.

Frances: Oh, love is blind. Yeah, we have that saying too.

Martini: Everybody has that saying because it's true everywhere.

Life experience has brought me a new understanding of relationships and of divorce. I've never been married. Yet, I have walked through deep relationship... one in particular that ventured far past the understanding of many people we knew. And I have tasted the cataclysmic pain of someone you share love with, deciding that what you have trustingly offered them is not what they desire... to be dismissed from their life and have the door to their heart slammed in your face.

Yeah... I have some clues about that now.

And it would have probably been easier for it to just kill me instantly... as morbid as that may sound. But it didn't.

Does it still hurt? Oh God, yes!

But am I better for it? Oh God yes!

This movie is beautiful... so honest and tangible.

And my life... quite brokenly beautiful, as well. I am glad to be able to feel every moment of this existence. The mountain top ecstasies and the deep valley devestation.

I'm okay.

Day by day, I release a little more... accept a little more... and like Frances, I invest in the dreams of my future... and prepare for the trains arrival, before I ever hear it's sound.

On that note... I'm off to celebrate this day with a wonderful group of people... singing, worshipping, eating!... chatting (of course)... and maybe some debit-card Monopoly too :0)

see ya,

tracye

My first Meme

Allllright... so getting back to the blogging thing after a year is an educational thing. Reading through so many different pages and being a part of webrings is totally enlightening.
I'm learning about these little things called "memes"! How fun!
And since I changed the address of my blog and no one can really find me yet, I'm going to grab one of these off of someone else's page and just get one of these rolling in my own little world.
So here goes!


A Big Long MeMe

Ever thought of just picking up and moving far away? ugh yes... I do often. This has actually been something I've done more than once in my life... and I've never regretted... although I came high-tailin' it back from D.C. when I left Nashville for a couple of months. Each experience has been life-changing and very rewarding. No... I don't really want to leave Nashville anytime soon... but I am hearing some whispers of what the next possible move might be :0)

What's the wallpaper on your computer? - it is a really cool photo that gives the appearance of you being inside a car and it's raining. The window that you are looking out of is covered in condensation and so you take your finger and draw a single cross on it. Pretty neat!

What is the last thing/person you took a picture of? - my neice and my nephews playing together at my sis' in Atlanta!

What was the most difficult decision you've ever had to make? - To truly let go of and honestly forgive the most amazing person who ever vanished from my life.

Name a band/artist you like that isn't popular. Well living in Nashville and knowing so many amazing Indie artists... there are sooo many. Shariff Iman, Christa Black, Chris McClarney to name a few...

Can you lift your significant other? - nope... Jesus is my only s.o. and He bares the weight of the world on His shoulder. So we've come to the conclusion that HE'LL do all the heavy lifting!!

What is the first vehicle you recall your parents owning? - a navy blue station wagon with the wood on the side!!! hollering laughing!

You only have $5 for the whole week; What do you buy with it? - I don't do "broke" very well... I'd probably waste it on a Starbucks coffee and then charge everything for the rest of the week... it aint pretty but that's the truth, kids!

What was the worst job you ever had? - I've had so many since I moved to Nashville... probably the one where my boss played favorites with 2 people in my dept and treated me and another girl like we had uni-brows and bad breath every day for 21/2 years of my life!!! Thank God for deliverance!!!

Have you ever seen counterfeit money? - I hope not!!!

Have you ever lost a pet you were attached to? - Yes, when I was in the 8th grade... our cat, Max ate a poisonous toad and didn't make it... I thought I would surely die. It was the most pitiful day... I think I cried all day at school.

You're at an amusement park; What ride do you want to go on first? - the one we've all been talking about the whole trip there!

You can read minds; Whose mind do you snoop around in first? - ohhhh that's not a good question for me to answer out loud right now ;0)

What was the most rebellious thing you've ever done? - risk my life and mouth off to my mother!

Do you ever talk to inanimate objects? - Yeah, but I could have swore that somethin' tried to answer me the other day... so I think I'm gonna kick that habit :0)

Pick one; Laundry, Dishes, Vacuuming. - are you kidding me... D - NONE OF THE ABOVE!!!!

Have you ever had to change schools while growing up? - Yes. military brat. it all worked out just fine.

You are forced to go out of state; Where do you go? - Dallas.... Portland... or somewhere in California maybe. I'm cool with traveling.

Name the most meaningful thing a non-relative has done for you. - I have been blessed to walk through 4 dream years with a person who blessed me, blessed me and then pulled out all the stops and blessed me some more. I have more meaningful things that I can tell about in those times then many will have in their entire lifetimes. I wouldn't even know where to begin. I am one blessed chick!

The highway or back roads take you to the same place; Choose your route. - Depends on how I'm feeling that day... and who I'm with :0)

You're going to be a mom/dad. What do you think/do? - Um... Jesus... you've got some explainin' to do!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Are you more likely to give up or persist when you're having trouble? - persist... i'm too stubborn to just give up anymore.

What's the most challenging thing you've ever over come? - Absolute embarrassment, shame and heartbreak rolled into one incident!

Your best friend needs a kidney to survive; Do you give them one of yours? - I would have.

Your brother breaks into your house; Do you press charges? - I really don't know. It would depend on how responsive he was to me when we talked about his reasons why, I suppose? Not sure!

Name a big life event that has taken place for you within the last two years. - Job changes, moves, loss of a deep friendship, became an Auntie again...

Do you end up regretting things you say often? - no... I very rarely regret saying anything because I really do MEAN it... even if it's a hard Truth for someone to swallow. I often hurt because people don't like to deal with Truth... and that causes some strains in relationship. But I'm okay with it.

Would you rather have a huge cat or a tiny dog? - huge cat!

Pringles or Lay's Stax? - not a big chip person.

Name one difficult lesson you've learned. - Boundaries in relationships are very important.

Name one thing you look forward to in old age. - Greater wisdom and the opportunity to share it with the younger generations.

Do you use your hands when you talk to emphasize what you are saying? - OMG yes...ha!

You own a huge business; What is it? - A center designed and focused on inner healing.

Are you afraid to ask for help when you know that you need it? - sometimes... yes, this is one of my weak points.

Should adoptive kids be allowed to find their birth parents if they want to? - yes. I desire to adopt children... and although I want them to know me as Mom... I also want them to be aware that someone else actually gave them life and that they have the right to want to know them and pursue relationship with them if they choose. I think it would be a double blessing to know that someone CHOSE to love you... just like Jesus did.

Name somebody you think died before their time. - My friend Sue from college who unfortunately committed suicide. I don't think I will ever forget her.

A friend is (rightly) suspected in a crime; Do you provide an alibi? - Only if it's true!

Name the possession you've had the longest. - don't know. not a big heirloom person.

You're writing a novel; Is it horror, mystery, romance, etc. - chick lit.

You have a deep dark secret; Do you tell anyone? - of course... I don't really have secrets.

Will you usually admit it when you've made a mistake? - absolutely. it's not the end of the world. I mess up all the time... in some way or another... and I never expected that I wouldn't. So what's the big deal?

A friend of yours has a drug addiction; Do you tell someone? - been there done that. only told the people they wanted to know.

Well this was long but interesting to even see how I would answer them myself.

I think I'll tag Michelle at "From His Heart To Mine" and Lindsey at "Lindsey Barrows".
Come on ladies and have some fun!

i love the way He loves me...

What an awesome night it's been.
I spent time with some wonderful new friends, Benjamin and Bonnie.
They are so sweetly in love.
And after spending time with them tonight, they rekindled my excitement about dating and possibly, one day, being married too.



Their relationship is so obvious... so natural... so refreshing.
After two years of marriage, they still hang on one another's words, linger in their gazes and enjoy the comfort of each other's touch. It was so inspiring to me... to share with them, the first night since the scorching entrance of summer that brought a gentle breeze and the promise of Autumn whispering upon it.
It was.... well, romantic!

We had dinner on the patio of one of my favorite restaurants in Belle Meade... enjoying the perfect evening outside... as we shared stories of what's going on in our lives and how God is so present in each situation. How awesome to give Him the glory on nights like this.

Afterwards, we went for a walk down a street lined with gorgeous homes... through a field full of leaves that crunched beneath our feet as we shared about our home towns. We arrived a few hundred feet from the front porch of the Belle Meade Mansion.
I was just struck by such a real sense of God's nearness... as they stood hand in hand and I, in the embrace of The Lover of My Soul. It was perfect. They looked deeply into one another's eyes and grinningly at me, as they re-enacted the scene of their engagement in the exact spot that they stood.
Never has a married couple made me feel more loved than they did tonight. Their love was intoxicating... and enticing to be around. I was blown away by how comfortable they were to be with... and how easy it was to celebrate the joy of this memory with them.

We ended the evening with more deep conversation and a powerful time of prayer... one of my favorite things to do. I can not explain just how perfectly the revelations that the Lord had given each of us, spoke into one another's lives. God never ceases to amaze me. We were all looking with wide-eyed wonder as He spoke through us... bringing answers and comfort to some of our deepest questions and hurts.
Wow... God!
Thank you.

And then to come home tonight and find that my new Shane and Shane Cd had finally arrived!
Smiling... just when I thought a really special night couldn't get any better!!!!!!!
I'm so excited...
You know what this means... that I'll have even more revelations to share...lol.
Alright it's off to bed with me now... pretty full day tomorrow.
Hope your day was amazing too.

Let's give Him thanks...
Daddddddy! You are such a wonderful giver of surprises!!!
Thank you for the impromptu plans with Bonnie and Benjamin tonight.
Thank you for the amazing healing that you brought to our hearts tonight as you spoke through each one of us in the most profound ways. Thank you for all of the revelations, dreams and prophetic words that helped to restore and encourage us tonight.
Thank you for the breeze... and the winds of remembrance that brought both great joy... and some sorrow. We lift it all to you tonight.
i am in absolute awe of how You make everyday that is entrusted to You, beautiful!!!!
You're so perfect and the very best friend I could ever have.
Thank you for holding my hand tonight... and holding my heart at all times.
I feel so safe with you.
And I say YES, Lord. Yes to all that you have for me.
If that includes marriage... then okay.
Thank you for the reminders, lately... of just how beautiful romance can be.
Amazingly, my shattered heart is being healed... as I see your hand in relationships all around me. Yes, Daddy... I believe you... and I trust that I am ready when You are!

i just can't thank you enough for the way you love.
i love you too.
in Jesus' Name.
amen.