Ponder with me, will ya?

Just another quickie post this morning...

I have been thinking alot lately of how we are affected by others. The way they treat us... whether they accept us or not... it really has a huge impact on our well being. And it should to some extent... but I am wondering just how much.

There is nothing like the feeling of a great new friend... you know... they get alllll excited to see you, pick your calls up within the first two rings, answer your texts almost immediately and invite you to just about everything. They are so careful to make you feel welcome, compliment you often and tread lightly in conversations to be sure not to offend you in any way. It's an interesting thing.
But somehow, as familiarity sets in... those beginning acts of respect and adoration will wane.
Oh don't worry... I am talking mostly to myself and asking these questions to my own heart.

Why is it we offer so much in the beginning and then fizzle out so soon after?

And then it's on to the next new person, who is just the best thing in the world... until they do or say something we don't like... or that spoils the fantasy of "perfect fit"?

Is it our assumptions?
Maybe our expectations?
Or the thrill of the chase?
Possibly the discomfort of too much of our own brokeness being revealed?

Tell me... what do you think?

Happy Monday - Positive Psychology

Happy Monday to you!

I don't have much time before I need to scoot out of the door and make it ON TIME for our Monday morning staff meeting. Before I go, I wanted to share a little.
Last night, as I mentally began to prepare for this busy week ahead... I thought about how Monday mornings can be such a dread. You know, you're having such a great time with friends and family on the weekend... that going back to work just sounds like punishment.

If you know me... you know that I'm always analyzing and working on negativity. We can thank my Dad... oh follower of Norman Vincent Peale and many other Positive thinking gurus. He always had motivation type books and Guidepost magazines around the house when I was growing up. He and I share a great love for "Thinking Happy Thoughts"!

So I thought it might be fun to share something I "happened" upon this weekend. During some needed downtime, in between celebrations... I came home and did some surfing on the internet. I don't know what it was that lead me to YouTube... but I ended up finding someone else who believes in being happy.
Shawn Achor, is/was a Professor at Harvard and teaches Positive Psychology (I mean, who knew there was such a thing)! Take a minute and watch this clip on the Unicorn Story.

Well I just realized that I can't actually link the video here... but here is the URL... click on it and enjoy. (Shawn Achor's Unicorn Story)

I've got to get going for work now, but I hope you have a super happy day today!!!

Smiley Saturday - 4th of July!

4th of July is just a day full of opportunities for smiling!

This year, amongst other festivities, we sat on a corner of the Bicentennial Mall and watched an amazing fireworks show. I think all of us "grownups" were grinning and giggling like little kids. There were a few ooohs and ahhhs, that then brought on more giggles and playful bantering. It was a great time of allowing ourselves to enjoy an awesome part of our country's heritage with Wide-Eyed Wonder!!

I was only able to get a couple of pics before my camera decided to die (Boo!)

Welp, I am going to keep it short and simple today... gotta get back to celebrating!!!

Happy Holiday Weekend Everyone :0)

Unconscious Mutterings

Thought this was fun... so why not.
You can playing along too at Unconscious Mutterings .

1. Goodbye :: Not another one :(


2. Cage :: Bird singing


3. Buddy :: Be my friend


4. Magic words :: Open sesame


5. Library :: stillness... peace


6. Fall in love :: I want to


7. Tense :: How I've felt lately


8. Work! :: Overwhelming


9. Empty :: sometimes a good thing


10. Heat wave :: We're having a heat wave.... a tropical heat wave :0) That song comes to mind

Smiley Saturday...

Happy Saturday All!

Upon my quest to be a better blogger (say that 7 times... haha), I have come to enjoy memes.

What is a meme, you ask? Well, for a longer explaination, you can visit TheDailyMeme. But from what I've seen they are one of two things:

* A weekly question, list of questions or request that an author will post to their blog. Others will read it, copy and past the questions to their own blog and link back to the original authors blog so that others can read their answer too.* Or the 2nd way I have seen them used is that an auther will answer a list of questions on their blog and then TAG others by going to their blog and leaving them a comment that they have been tagged to participate.

So, if you're like me... a ponderer... things like this are fun cause I like to give my opinion very much! Haha! And I also like to know what you're thinking too.

Today, I found this cute meme... Smiley Saturday on Lightening Online, and the objective is to post about something that makes you smile! Of course... smiling is one of my favorite things to do... so I snatched this one up quickly.

One of the little someone's who makes me smile the most is my very silly and fun nephew, Tayo. He is just dang adorable. So I thought I'd share his pic... which will probably do the trick with making you smile.

Happy Saturday Everybody... Hope you're smiling :0)

Tray

Bare Souls and Burning Spirits!!!

Donald Miller, the author of "Blue like Jazz", uses words in the most luxurious way. Yet, I think what draws me and so many others to his work, is that the finished work... although full of intricacies, is quite simple and easy to understand.


I happened upon a copy of "Through Painted Deserts" on Monday, and have been intrigued at the turn of each page. Put maybe a little too simplistically, this book is a memoir of Don's three-month road trip spent crossing country in a Volkswagen camping van. As the back cover teases, Don and his buddy Paul "dive headlong into the deepest of human questions and find answers outside words - answers that have to be experienced to be believed".

After beginning the 2nd chapter this morning, I invite you to find a copy yourself and dig in... as this work has already proven a worthy adventure.

Last night, I rehearsed with friends, as part of a new work that God is doing. It is amazing to be a part of this ministry. I will share more in blogs to come about what we're about. But what I want to say most today, is how stunned and blessed I was last night, as I watched the power of speaking the Truth IN LOVE overcome the silence's potential to breed confusion and hard feelings. Frustrations arose in many of us and the temptation was to internalize, judge and harbor negative feelings.
We could have left it all that way.
We could have remained unchanged.

What I experienced last night was a group of beautifully broken people... ready and willing to do life differently than before. We all shared openly of our personal struggles and gave one another glimpses into one another's brokeness. What a wondrous time we had, being willing to be visibly weak and watching the strength of God that arose in those moments.
I am so grateful to step out on the waters with these men and women of God... and be ministered to as we minister.
Thank you, friends.

What touched me the most from my reading in Don's book this morning, was the quote from a song by Robert Earl Keen Jr's song, "Road to No Return".
It resonated and echoed thoughts from last night and also reassured me that this journey we are on will not lead us back to the same places we have already been.
It is a new day. This is a new place in God that we are walking... and it is not for us to turn around. Yes, we may find that in taking steps forward on this path, we revisit some places we have once tread... but we can find comfort and joy in knowing it will not ever be as it was before. Praise the Lord!

But each new morning sunrise

Is just as good as gold

And all the hope inside you

Will keep you from the cold

Bare your soul and let your spirit burn

Out along the road to no return

Daddy,

I pray today, that we all would do just that. May we "BARE OUR SOULS AND LET OUR SPIRITS BURN"!!! What a wonderful time of healing and bonding you allowed last night. My heart is ever grateful.

May each reader of this words, find a place of strength in You today, that gives them the reassurance that they can be weak. I am absolutely there... and I never want to regain my own strength again.

Lord, I humbly lay myself bare today... wherever I go. Even on my job, oh Lord, let me be willing to ask for help. Let me open my mouth and speak of my needs... and feel the comfort of those who come to bring what they can offer. Help me not to squirm when arms are wrapped around me... or to struggle to stand, as a sweet hand is reached toward me. We so desperately need You... and your love that is poured out through your children. Help us, to receive it today.

And God, as we find that bare place... may our spirits BURN with a fire for You! May it burn brighter and hotter than ever before. There is nothing like knowing that we are truly loved.

And as we allow Truth to rise in us and around us... finding beauty in brokeness and hope in humility... may we know that place of extreme passion! No more lukewarmness God!! We cry out for even more! Holy Fire, come and purify... burn away everything unlike You and cause us to come as pure Gold!

We love and adore you!!

In Jesus' name... amen.

Tray

What will you decree?

Did you know that you are Royalty?

You and I are called, as sons and daughters of the Most High God... to BE a chosen generation!

This idea of walking in our Royal inheritence is such a rich idea to ponder today.

1 Peter 2:9 says ... But you are not like that, for you are a chosen people. You are a kingdom of priests, God's holy nation, his very own possession. This is so you can show others the goodness of God, for he called you out of the darkness into his wonderful light.

And I love the Message Bible version that puts it this way:
But you are the ones chosen by God, chosen for the high calling of priestly work, chosen to be a holy people, God's instruments to do his work and speak out for him, to tell others of the night-and-day difference he made for you

We have been given the ability to speak out the exaltation of Our God today. In everything we say, we are making decrees! May our mouths be used for the building up of the Kingdom, the loving exhortation of one another and to show the goodness of God who has brought us out of our darkness.

Whether you consider yourself a Princess or a Queen... I pray we may all rule well with our words... our gifts... and that each decree we make will bring Him Glory!!!

With a happy heart,
Tracye

Toronto

So I realized today, as I thought about what I should share... that I have not blogged about my incredible time out of the country.

It's been almost two months ago now, since a group of friends and I decided to run for the border (well the Northern one anyway)!

Can I just say that I am so proud of us for not just talking about it... the way we so often do... but we actually planned it out and made it happen.

Soooo details, details, huh?

As you may or may not know, I am a part of a church body that is very into the "things of the Spirit"... or yielding to the leading of the Holy Spirit in our services and every day life. Signs, Wonders, Miracles, healings and the like, are a part of our culture.

Within this movement in The Body, are people who live to go deeper into these things... my little group of friends included.

Toronto Airport Christian Fellowship, was the birthplace of the first major North American Revival known as the Toronto Blessing. You may have heard of the 2nd one a little more, which was called The Brownsville Revival, in Pensacola, Fl. Now, we are living in what is being tagged as the Third Wave. Down in Lakeland, FL... the Lord is using a man by the name of Todd Bentley to bring about the Florida_Outpouring!

Okay, so the Florida Outpouring is an entirely separate blog to come...

Back to Toronto!

We decided to go up for a conference called "Going Deeper, Going Higher"... where Patricia King, Randy Clark, Duncan Smith and John & Carol Arnott would be ministering. Also, we were so pleased that Alberto&Kimberly_Rivera, were leading worship. Alberto was the Worship Pastor at our church for several years, and Kimberly led the congregation with the most gorgeous prophetic songs, that are sung over people! If you've never experienced their ministry, take some time to listen on their website... or on Myspace. You will be so blessed.

While we were at the Conference, I can not even begin to tell you how blown away I was with how this church poured out everything they had been given. Never, had I ever experienced people who seemed to be desperate to minister to others. They were so desperate to GIVE AWAY everything that had been imparted to them. With each message, with each revelation spoken, we were given the opportunity to receive impartation through laying on of hands. It was the cry of their hearts for each and every one of us to go back to our cities... our countries and give away everything we had been freely given.

For the first time in my life, I had a new paradigm about laboring in ministry.

I had been a part of mega-ministry... pouring out all that I had and giving away what I had, only to come away drained and sometimes feeling empty.

But as I watched these people lay hands on thousands of people and still shine with great joy and enthusiasm... I was changed.

When I returned, I realized that I had received a great impartation... I now was able to operate in ministry at a new place. As I gave away what I had... as I spoke words of edification, sung songs over people, prayed for the sick and imparted Holy Fire... it was as if each time I gave it away... it just MULTIPLIED!!!

I am still amazed, even 2 months later... that I seem to be infused with greater strength and even more zeal as I speak, sing and allow God to use my life. What a wonderful change!!!

There were so many special things about this trip... one of them was finding this little tulip garden. Here from right to left... is Marakia, Tonda and me... sitting in front of the tulips that made my heart smile... knowing that God knows the deepest desires in me... and He loves on me in the sweetest of ways.

Tulips are my favorite flower... and the message of to my heart that He spoke was "I see you, I love you and I long to bless you... Everything is going to be alright".

The Lord used tulips to speak this same message to me, some six years ago... when I arrived in Nashville... a 26 year old wide-eyed girl, just longing to be obedient to His leading.

When it hit me that I was actually in a foreign land, knowing no one and began to feel the fear of the unknown... I drove into my apartment complex and was overwhelmed with tulips! They were everywhere... and in my heart, the Lord reassured me... everything was going to be alright.

And He was so faithful then... and I believe He will be as I once again move into the unknown.

Finally... the most unexpected blessing that absolutely changed my life... was when we took the hour long trip from Toronto to Ontario. There we visited one of the places on my "do-before-i-die" list!!

We went to NIAGRA FALLS!!!!

I had no idea that I would have

one of the deep desires of my heart

fulfilled on this trip.

It was amazing to all of us, after having been in such powerful meetings all week long to have such an overwhelming end to this time together.

As we turned the corner from the highway, onto the main road where the Falls began... we saw two rainbows right above. I had never seen this before... not a double rainbow with the arches over one another... but two rainbows, side by side!!!

We were overtaken with awe.

To us, God spoke powerful... just as He did to Noah... using the rainbow as a sign of promise. We believe it was a sign of double portion... double promise!

This is my favorite pic that I was honored to take!! Isn't it exquisite?

God is outrageously the most captivating artist!!!

I pray tonight, that you are experiencing the manifestation of your heart's greatest desires.

One of the messages that the Lord gave me to share while I was in Toronto... was that there is now an end to "Hope Deferred"... and an entrance into "Desires fulfilled"!!!

I will share more about this, probably tomorrow because I feel it very strongly during this season... in my own life... and in The Body of Christ!!!

May you know that what you care about... is important. Your desires are not so random. They are a part of your purpose and the fabric of your spiritual DNA.

As the waters of Niagra resounding the message of God's love to me... I ask that He would bring a sign of His promise to you today... that will impact you in the same way and even more.

Blessings to you! Thanks for stopping by :0)

Tracye

He's Home...so it's ok.

My heart... what a wild place.
Just sitting here thinking how cool it is to know that Jesus chose it for His place to dwell within me.
He's so amazing... to pick the most chaotic residence possible.
The very thought, makes me a little more quiet, peaceful, and well... still.

I've been fidgety today. Not so much outwardly, but on the inside.
Yes, from Glory to Glory I go... one moment in the heights... and at another looking up from the valley. I'm not in either of those places today... and I feel something coming. Something I dare to call wonderful... yet the unknown of it is a bit unsettling.

Am I ready for another major change?
I don't know.
Can I even worry with the wonder? Well, yes... but the better question is... will it really do me any good.

So I sit with my questioning heart tonight... and remind myself that He has made His home in me...

Maybe your a little fidgety tonight too?
If so... then I hope you might settle into that thought for a little while...
He's Home... so it's ok.

Peace to you, my friend.
Tracye

P.S. Jesus, I tried to just end this without speaking to you publicly... but somehow it all seemed too unfinished. You see, more than just talking about You... I just love to talk TO You... so much! And I wanted to say something to You for everyone to hear. I really love you... I mean... REALLY REALLY love You!
Just the mention of your name and I am blown away.
At the thought of Your presence being so near, I am moved to tears.
You overwhelm me... in the most indescribable ways.
I never want another to take Your place in my heart... so I don't know what that fully means to You and the plan You have for my life... but I know it means to me... that I'm very happy with our home... just the way it is. Nevertheless, You know best and I completely trust You to make the best decision. Thank You... for just letting me lay my head on Your heart... and be soothed while I wait. Maybe You'll speak... or maybe we'll just remain in quietness together.
That's ok.
I'm ok... cause You... are...home.

Falling!

What a fun weekend...
Did something I haven't done in maaany years.




Oh my gosh, I went roller skating for the first time in probably like 15 years!
I wish I could say that it was like riding a bike... but um... nope, is was NOT :0)

Everyone that I was with... was like a pro... so I felt horrible when I found myself flying through the air and landing on my behind.


It was pretty hysterical... and yes, I had fun :0)

From there... it was off to Karaoke... where we danced the night away.... OMG!
Though I didn't get the nerve up to sing... our crazy group hardly ever left the dance floor for about 2 1/2 hours!!!

Soooo.... all that to say that I'm doing really good right now. Having alot of fun and enjoying life in so many ways. I am falling.... literally and yes... in "that" way too. It's good... really good.
It's nice to feel alive again.

More later... i promise :0)

Hey Love,

What a great night the other night!
It's so great to grow smaller with You.
It's amazing how after the most painful seasons of my life... I can find myself experiencing more bliss and enjoyment then I have in years.
YOU are my reason why.
In a room full of the most incredible people... You still hold my heart!
Thank you for leading me to a wonderful group of crazy friends... and allowing me to be young and a little bit crazy.
I'm loving exploring all of the parts of who you created me to be.... especially the ones that have been stifled for awhile.
It feels so good to fall in love again.

I love you, amen.
Tray

Stormy Weather...

It's been pretty crazy here in Nashville.
Temperatures have been mixed up and the atmosphere is just mad about it!

Turbulence. Unrest. Disquiet.
All of the things that are happening in nature... and I see it in my heart as well.

God is shaking us.
He is stirring us from our slumberous lives... walking around not fully awake... not hearing His sound or seeing the signs.

Solomon already told us that our quests here are all in vain, yet we continue to gorge ourselves on what is void and empty... and we still want more.

Last night, I was a bit annoyed that my Tuesday night plans were interrupted. Living on my own personal island called "just me and what I want to do"... I don't have to surrender to someone else's ideas unless I choose to. And I find that the older I get, the harder it is to allow someone else to make decisions for me.
Well, when Biggest Loser was pre-empted for news broadcasting about Tornado warnings, I was upset. My mind muttered something about how they should just have a special channel for this kind of stuff.
And then, the conditions outside caused me to lose wireless internet connection. Now I was super-mad! This is ridiculous!
Now, I not only can't get my weekly fix of weight loss motivation... I can't put my Avon orders together either cause I CAN'T GET ONLINE... MY LIFE IS OVER .... AAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRGGGGGGGHHH!

So I pouted for a few seconds and flailing myself down on the couch, I finally became still.
It was then that I heard the reporter speaking with great concern in his voice.
All around the area, people were being devastated... losing their homes and their lives.
Oh.
Oh my gosh.

Sleeping Beauty (Brat in this case), was awakened from her self made slumber.
Oh, God... it's not about me.
It's not about my wants and my plans.

All of a sudden, my tiny little island became connected to the world again.

And in those quiet hours, He was able to speak to my heart and restore my peace... all in the midst of the storm.

To The One Who says "Peace Be Still", and the winds obey... I say thank you.
Once again, You answered the cries of my broken soul... even when I did not know the words to speak.
You amaze me with your overwhelming Love and the power that you have to stay any storm... whether it is physical or emotional.
You are The Healer... You are in control.
Father, be with those who have been ravished by storms outside. And God, please draw so close to those who feel as though their mental and emotional ships have been capsized.
You are in our boats with us.
And we can rest... in the midst of the Storms... because You are.

With great gratitude and an awakened heart... i love you.
tracye

Laying down my cape...

So I don't really feel very prolific these days... just a jumbled mess of a girl who often feels she wants to stop the world and get off.
Been feelin' alot like that lately... and so that's exactly what I've been doing.

It's amazing to me, how taking time for yourself affects the people around you. We can all be so self-absorbed (insert self in that statement first). When someone pulls away from us, the very first thing we often think is "what did I do wrong... or what is it about me that's so bad".
Maybe, just maybe, that person has some stuff to work out for THEMSELVES!!!

Okay, I'm ranting...
And that's were I've been lately... so I've tried to save you from having to endure it... endure me.

I'm learning that about myself... that I'm always trying to save someone from something... or someone.
Um... not my job!
So why is it such a passion?
It's not always because I care... well, not so much.


It's just more of a role that I acquired a long time ago... that seemed to work for me. You know, grant me some favor... make me a little more "necessary" in important people's lives.

But did God ever ask me to be anyone's Superhero?
(blink... blink... sound of crickets)
I'll take that as a NO!

I'm laying down my cape.



Hey Superman...
I realllly need you today.
My attitude is just not the best and I'm not doing so well with seeing what you see.
This is definitely a day for some much needed rescue.

Today, I choose to take my cape off and lay it down at your feet. I give up... this saving the world business is much too much for me.
Will you still let me just be your sidekick?
I think I'd like that...

I don't need much... just Your hand to hold and Your presence, so that I don't feel quite so alone.
Will you speak up for me, when I just don't know what to say? You know, give me the answers when my feeble mind fails?

Can I rest in You, even as I work?
I really need to.
I love you.
Amen.

There's so much going on.
Today, my head spins with thoughts about just everything.
Are you like me... always thinking about a million things, all at one time?
Sometimes I laugh when someone says... "You're so calm" or "You're just so quiet". Whew, if they only knew the clattering clutter in my brain.

Welp, that's just who I am... a thinker.
Constantly pondering things, questioning and wondering.

This year is moving so fast.
January has brought more new things, friends and adventures. It's fun to learn how to let go of all the Shoulds and Have to's... and realize that I DON'T really have to do any of that.
Yep... I'm a rebel.
And I'm okay with that.

So what do you blog about on a day that you've decided to share your thoughts on paper... but the million and one in your head are all fighting for the Headline?

I think for today, I'll just suffice it to stop in and say hi... let you know that I'm thinking about you... amongst the many other things.

Oh, I know... I'll share with you a song that seems to stay on the Jukebox of My Mind alot lately.
Ever since the New Year's Eve show that she sang on... I've been pretty smitten with Natasha Bedingfield's music. There's just something about her voice that I really connect with. I remember how much I liked her song "Unwritten" a couple years back.
Now, I'm totally intrigued by "Love like this".
The original radio version is my fav... but I was jamming out today and came across this really cool acoustic version that totally rocked me.

Enjoy... my 2nd favorite song right now: