Ramblings, really...

Hi there,

It's a snow day in Nashville, and I'm just not feeling the hustle and bustle this weekend... so it's music, internet and phone calls for me :)

Ella is crooning the sweetest "Sunday Kind of Love" in the background and my cup of peppermint tea is offering warm comfort to my senses. Sometimes it's nice to just stay in.

There's been alot on my mind, as always. Yet, I've chosen not to broadcast what I've written publicly, lately. Understanding that there are seasons for everything... that is about to change, once again.

I realize now, more than ever... that I was created to share my thoughts, feelings, hopes, etc. It is simply who I am... and I find that the more courage and self love that I exhibit in talking about the hard things... the more I see people around who would not normally express themselves begin to do the same.
I am also realizing that this character trait is not just about other people. It is about me.
And that is okay.

It is okay for me to do things simply because I want to.
Not because it is going to be something profound for other people.
But because it is going to be what is fulfilling to me as well.

I love that about life.
I love that about learning.

I wish I could have realized these things before now.
I wish I could have lived my whole life including myself in the picture along with everyone else.

As I move more into "dating" mode, it is so interesting to see the different characters that come into my life. It's also amazing to see the different sides of me that they bring out. How crazy is it, to live for 30 years thinking you know who you are... and then realize that there are portions of your life that you have had no clue about!

It has been so important for me to have it all together all of these years... and now all of a sudden (or maybe not so suddenly), it feels more important to be able to be vulnerable... to be a little weak.
Sharing my needs is not easy for me at all. But I find that in relationships, there is a certain necessity for allowing someone else to provide for you in the ways that they feel confident and competent.

I am learning to give what's in my heart a voice... whether or not it will be received by all... or even many. Sometimes the sharing is simply about the one who is sharing... and that's okay too.

Today, I am staying in.
Today, I am changing.
Today, I am okay.

Dear Lord,
What a jumbled up mess of a person I can be some days... yet I feel your love so close and so constant. Thank you for urging me to share today. I pray that each person reading this will know that what they hold within them is worthy of expression. Lord, we were not put here on this Earth to only offer the perfected parts of ourselves... but to extend invitations daily, to intertwine with one another. Often times, that will not be the simplest process. And even more often than that, there will be misunderstandings and parts of ourselves that are exposed that we wish could have remained hidden. Oh God, I pray that we will all give grace to one another and also to ourselves for not being perfect. May our blemishes not cause us to hide. And in the same respect, may we also not be so repulsed by the ugly parts of one another, that we push each other away. Help us, to embrace. In Jesus' Name :)

Tray