Again!

Well well well!
It's been a long time since I've posted, once again!

Here I am... picking up where I left off... again!

Life has been quite interesting since spring time (I think that was probably the last time I posted). Many changes have happened... some joyous, some heartbreaking. And yet, there is one thing that lasts through all of the changes. I'm still here! Smile.

I've met new friends... parted ways with some old... reacquainted with past loves and sighed at the thought of fanning a new flame.
Does it ever get easier? Make complete sense?

Tonight, I sit on my bed... too sick with a cold to join my friends for coffee and a great word... yet not sick enough to forget all of the things on my mind and turn in for the night at 6pm :0)

Restless... would be a good word for me.

My lifestyle has changed so much... some from my own doing... some by the choices of others.
And for the first time in my life, newness is not overwhelmingly welcome.

Have you ever grieved what was never really there? Awaken to realize you had been dreaming, yet not asleep?
Hope deferred makes the heart grow sick... I think I could write this story.
But not because I long to linger in the sadness of "this will never be"... but because I know that God has a turning of the page in near sight for me!!

At the end of me... I am discovering a place in God that I had only imagined there could be. In Him, I am finding that I do not have to have all the answers. I do not have to know the reasons behind the obedience. I don't have to be strong enough not to cry.
He reassures me that it's okay to hurt.
He comforts me in abandonment.
He holds me when even in the summer sun, my heart feels cold.
He tells me it's alright to share my feelings... the deep ones that others would never share with just anybody.
And again... it alright for there to be more tears.

But there's a morning!
Oh, what a sweet morning it is!!
For after the weeping... after the wailing... after the hurt so deep you feel you'll drown... JOY COMES IN THE MORNING!!!!

I'm not sure where you are right now in your life. Maybe you're on the mountain top! Maybe you're walking on the water... Maybe you're smiling with the radiance of one who is content... or maybe like me... you're rising from a long wintery season of life!
No matter where you are... it's okay. God is STILL in control.

I am looking forward to what Spring will bring... as my heart is renewed.

And as I begin again... to share Life from my view.. I ask that the Lord will be exalted through each line... each word... each personal truth.

Dear Daddy,

It's been so long since I desired to put words to what my heart has been feeling. This summer has not been the most joyous one of my life. There have been so many hard things... and yes, so many joys... yet my clouded mind found it easier to linger upon what was painful. But God, I thank you that... as always, you've brought me through.
You're amazing.
Lord, may my life's story show accurately... the face of a deeply broken woman who is prone to wander, make messes, over-think life, let you down and simply not live up to her potential.
But may the greatest and longest portion of the story be that portion that paints you to be precisely Who You Are!!!
God, You are My Savior! My Song and My Sweetheart!
You are the One Who has never turned away...
You are the One Who has never been ashamed of or bored with me.
You make everything Fine!!
Lord, You have been beside me through all of the confusing times... and have held my heart when it hurt the most! You, Oh Lord have desired me when I was the most wretched!
You... have been a Forever Friend... through all of my irritating ways. Wow! Thank you, Lord!

And so tonight... I think you for the days that have led to this one!
Though they have been difficult... I have learned more about You through them.
That makes each moment... so worth it!
Thank you for thinking I am WORTH IT!
Everything You went through for me! You're amazing!
Thank You, Sweet Jesus... for being EVERYTHING to me!

I love you,
Tracye Lynn

Fun little quizzes

Hi there... Here's some cute little quizzes I did... if you have a blog or a website... you should check it out... there tons of them and it's a great way to just waste some time and relax :0)

Have fun!!!

Oh yeah... thanks Michelle D. ... got the idea from you :0) Love ya!

People Envy Your Inner Peace

You understand your place in the world and accept life as it is. For you, "it's all good."People envy how grounded and level headed you are. But you're too at peace to even notice.

What Do People Envy About You?

Your Power Color Is Lime Green

At Your Highest: You are adventurous, witty, and a visionary. At Your Lowest: You feel misunderstood, like you don't fit in. In Love: You have a tough exterior, but can be very dedicated. How You're Attractive: Your self-awareness and confidence lights up a room. Your Eternal Question: "What else do I need in my life?"

What's" Your Power Color?

Gummy Bears

You may be smooshie and taste unnatural, but you're so darn cute.

What Kind of Candy Are You?

Caramel Frappuccino

Creative and expressive, you tend to match your Frappuccino flavor to your mood. And a flavored syrup is always a must!

What Flavor Frappuccino Are You?

Your Eyes Should Be Blue

Your eyes reflect: Innocence and sweetness What's hidden behind your eyes: A calculating mind

What Color Should Your Eyes Be?

Living in His Breeze

It's really nice right now in Nashville... about 85 with a beautiful breeze blowing during the heat of the day. Where I work, there is a garden with benches and a wishing-well type fountain. Yesterday, a friend and I took a break and sat beside it.
What an oasis in the middle of a busy workday.
Thank you, Daddy!

So many days, I find myself concentrating on who I need to become and how I need to do so many things better. Yet, lately I have been praying that I will continuously refocus when those thoughts come. If I can remember to stay in the moment and realize that I have everything I truly need... life suddenly becomes much more peaceful.

It's kind of like that little picture of Eden I had yesterday. The truth was that my little friend and I went outside to blow off some steam... you know, what we call "venting". The office was getting just a little too small for all of our inflated egos to co-exist... and the audacity of the people in charge, their demands and opinions were rubbing us the wrong way... yet AGAIN!

And in the middle of our ranting... that still, small, precious voice was gently encouraging me... "look around, Tracye... do you see the beauty? Can you feel my breeze? I am here... and I am trying to get your attention"...

Oh, Goodness was speaking in the midst of my sin, once AGAIN.

As we climbed the staircase to re-enter the place we abhorred ... something had been changed on the inside of me. Though my attitude was not immediately affected.... I now realize that the rest of the day was different for me.

Somewhere during that afternoon, I quietly repented and welcomed His perspective back in.
How amazing it was to literally feel the atmosphere change and my heart soften.
The rest of the work day was really nice... but the lasting part was the living water flowing within me and the soft breeze of His love that was blowing through the corridors of my heart.

How are you today? Are you living in that Breeze too?
Or maybe you are struggling to focus on what truly matters... as I often do.
Opinions and emotions are continuously mutable... but He is eternal... and His ways will keep us peaceful, no matter where we are.

Sweet Breath of Life... I crown you now... Lord of this day!
Thank you for saving me from myself yesterday... and I know you will do the same again today....
Beautiful....I am humbled and amazed at how you continue to love me in spite of myself.
I adore you, Precious Father... and I look forward to walking through each moment of this day, aware of You... aware of Your Breeze... Your beautiful fragrance.
Bless my friend and me today, Lord.. and reveal Yourself to us in a way that will be memorable, no matter what comes our way.
Keep our hearts, minds and souls focused on nothing and no one else but You.
You are worthy... and you've made us worth it...

In the Fragrant Name of Jesus!
Amen

Losing "Wait"

Hey Everyone...

It's been along time... AGAIN!!!

I have such high hopes and good intentions about posting on here EVERY, SINGLE DAY!
Smile...

Then along comes life and grabs my attention and forces me to focus on something else... or to dwell on nothing at all.
Anyway, I digress.

I think this phrase says it best: I want to Lose the "Wait".
selah
(tracye's translation - Enough said right now... I tell you more about this later :0)

Speaking of Wait... hehee

So I think today is a great day to clue you in on another area of my life that is under construction right now. My body!!!
Yes, there are some cool things happening physically with me.... and I welcome you to share in my venture down the scale.
I've created a website that's dedicated to my weight loss.... and I'll add a link for easy access.
Take a look... have a laugh, shed a tear... or if you find it fun... leave me a message in the guestbook. I tell you what... it's gonna be a long road... so I'll surely need your encouragement :0)

Tracye'sfree

Check it out!

I plan to share much more on the website... but I have to warn you... I will be very frank about where I am. We're talking numbers and everything (and I'm not a little girl).
So if you're squeamish about weight...and the number on the scale.... you may not wanna peak... LOL.

I leave you with this tonight... its pretty late and I'm tired.
It's realllllly nice when you finally get a true revelation of just how free Christ has set you!
I mean... if someone had told me 5 years ago... that I would love myself this much... and be this open about my "personal" life and struggles... I would have walked away before they could finish their sentence...:0) But freedom is real!
Truth is freeing... and I will never be the same again!!!

I hope that you will share your journeys with me.... and let me know how I can encourage you with whatever battle you're facing!
We're all challenged by something... so there's no room for shame!
Be free, my friend... and know that you are worth more than you have ever imagined!!!

All my love,
Tracye

Daddy,

It's been a hard day today... work was not pleasant and my emotions were very shaky.
Thank you for allowing me to run to you... in the middle of it all.
It's days like these that I truly know you are real.
It's feelings like this that make me appreciate being alive... even in the pain of sadness or diappointment.
I remember when I was numb and couldn't feel a thing.
It's so nice to be all thawed out....even though it leaves me vulnerable to hurt.
You are my warmth, Lord.
Thank you for holding me today... when other's tried to make me feel like an outsider... unworthy of the "favored" place.
I'm so glad that my value is not dependent on their opinions of me.

I trust You, Lord.
I need You, Daddy.
And I'm thankful that you have the final say... always :0)

You are my hero... thank you for rescuing me... even from myself!

And Daddy... bless my friend that's reading this. They are struggling through their own issues with worth and purpose. Cause them to know your great love like never before.
Remove the veil and allow them to see that you are their hero... and you've come to rescue them too!

Love you so much,
Tracye

Happy 6 Months Tayo :0)

Hi there All...
Today... my sweet baby nephew is 6 months old!!

Here's Tayo!


Where does the time go???

It's amazing to think that it was 6 months ago today... that this beautiful little one came along to change all of our lives in such a wonderful way. He is truly a precious gift to our family..
There is not a more special moment in the day, then when I receive a new bundle of photos from my sister. How proud she must be! I surely am :0)

And to think today... that our Father in heaven loves us in the same way? So deeply.. so proudly.. you know? So much greater than we could ever grasp.

He watches over us during our day... and as we slumber at night. He waits to hold us and He longs to enjoy us. What a magnificent Father.

Sweet Jesus... Thank you for this precious life that you've given us. Tayo is a joy and treasure from heaven. You are so loving and so kind to grant us the honor of holding him close on this journey. I pray that he will remain safe and always know that he is loved deeply!

Daddy, thank you for revealing so many "hands-on" lessons about your love for us... by allowing us to feel the way we do for him. You're amazing! And I stand in awe of your creation!!!

May today.. .be a happy, gurgly, playful and silly day for him.... filled with all that bring great delight to his little heart and causes his beautiful eyes to look in wonder the way he does :)

I love you Daddy... and I love you Tayo!!

Amen
Auntie Tracye

In the Silence

It's been quiet out here on my little blog....
for almost a month....
wow.. I didn't realize it had been quit that long!

Right now, there is sooo much I can share with you..... life has been pretty interesting.

Let me see... I'll start here.
One of my all time favorite songs is called "In the Silence" by Jason Upton.
Here are the words:

Tired of telling you, you have me
When I know you really don't
Tired of telling you I'll follow
When I know I reallly won't

Cause I'd rather stand here speechless
With no great words to say
If my silence is more truthful
And my ears can hear how to walk in your way

In the silence You are speaking
In the quiet
I can feel the fire
And it's burning, burning deeply
Burning all it is that you desire
to be silent, in me

Oh Jesus can you hear me?
My soul is screaming out
And my broken will cries teach me
What your Kingdom's all about
Unite my heart to fear you,
To fear your holy name
And create a life of worship
In the spirit and truth of your loving ways

In the Silence, You are Speaking

In the Quiet, Ican feel the Fire

And it's burning, burning deeply

Burning all it is that You desire to be silent

In me!

There was a time when I knew that this song epitomized my life with Christ. He was my passion... my obsession. He was the first one on my mind in the morning... and the last words that escaped my lips before sleep. I spent hours and hours in peace and meditation... reading His word and growing in the Spirit. I looooved to pray.. and talking about God was all I ever wanted to do.

Silence was the sweetest part of my life. It was more pleasing to me... to sit with Him... alone in my closet, until I lost track of the time... than to be with people.
Sweet intimacy with Christ was what I found in the silence.
True peace that wasn't dependent on anything or anyone but God....

I was so much more contented then.

And now.... a little more than a year later.... my life feels a million miles away from that place I knew in Him!

Most days.... peace is not the first word that I'd find to describe what is going on inside.... and that firm, "sureness" I once had about EVERYTHING seems gone.
I've struggle with this lately.

How do I get it back? How do I find that place again.... where did the life I had figured out go?

The Truth? I'm not really sure. But I'm beginning to realize that backing up or turning around doesn't seem to be a part of our journey. As I fight to find words to say to the God and Friend I used to communicate so easily with... I realize that it's not that I've lost something. It's not that I have abandoned Him or He's abandoned me. I haven't strayed from His Will or done anything to walk away from His Arms of Love.

I understand what this time has been about. It has been about COMPASSION.
Tears roll down my face as I write... because it's so good to have an understanding of what this season of distance has been about. I know now... that the Lord has not turned away from me. Honestly, I never truly believed He had... but the thoughts would come and go.
Why can't I pray? Why don't I want to worship you? Why are carnal things so much more inviting to me? What is this insatiable need for more? How did I get so full of myself? What happened to my heart? Why don't I care anymore... about anything or anyone, really?
Lord, WHAT IS GOING ON!!!!

My precious friend... God allowed me to see what I couldn't see before. He allowed me to feel what I had never felt in such magnitude.
He allowed me to get lost in gossiping and idle talk... bickering and complaining.
He allowed me to wallow in self-pity and anger.
He let me feel the void that comes from prayerlessness.
He showed me life through my own understanding... and what comes of heading worldly advice.
He allowed me to be burned by the fires of worldly passions and experience what it is to not feel much passion for Him.
He allowed me to drink from the cup of bitterness and resentment.
He let me try to cover my own shame.

Ohhh, I could go on for so long about the things I now know have happened to teach me.

This weekend, my answers have come.
Lord, why do I feel so far away from you?
So that you can feel true desperation. So that you can know the pains of the people I have called you to Love. So that you will reach to help someone out of the same pit that you once knew!
So that you'll get serious about releasing the bondages that have held you back from going forward. So that you will not be ashamed of Christ because you KNOW Him as Rescuer.
So that the story of the Gospel is played out in your own life... and now you can carry that message to all you encounter. So that you can see that all of those things you experienced outside of Him are WORTHLESS!

It was all a part of the plan... and it is so nice to know that I have not failed God... but have come through another season... and learned sooo much more about Him than I could have ever read about! He teaches using many methods.... and this time it was "Hands-on" Experience.

And you know what.... I am ready!!!! It is time to keep on walking now... in this New Season of telling the story... and reaching out to others.
Everyday.... whether at work, at home, in my community, on the road traveling..... it's about having Compassion and allowing the Gospel to live through me!!!

I haven't lost the silence. It's been there all the while.
Although I will always love long hours of meditational prayer.... I now realize that His Still, Small Voice can be heard over any amount of noise and chaos.
I haven't left my "prayer closet" and my "new testament coffee breaks".... I'm taking them with me everywhere I go!

Amazing Jesus.... I finally understand! I finally get it, that it's all about You!
Who knew, all this time... that you were preparing me... molding me... equipping me for the work that You have called me to. So many times... during those times alone with You... I cried out to know True Compassion. Lord, my heart had grown so cold... from fear, rejection and resentment.... that I had lost my ability to connect and to empathize with those in need Thank you... thank you for teaching me in the way that You knew I would get it! Thank you for not just telling me about the pain, the deep hurt, the rejection, the addictions, the misunderstanding, the anger, the insanity, instability and insufficiency. You allowed me to experience it for myself... and come to know you within it all.
I say YES LORD!
I will Go Lord!
I will not be ashamed to tell the story.... even while I'm IN IT!

It's not about ME!!!!
Yet You're all about me.....you really dig me, Jesus.
You're jealous for my heart... my attention and my intentions.
So tonight... I surrender to you!
I say... I DO!

Even if that makes me strange... uncool... or "to-far-gone".... I say I DO....and I WILL!!!
I'll be a fool for YOU!!!

Hand in hand... we'll do this. And I'm excited to cheer You on as you work through me.
Take these lungs... this voice... these hands... these eyes.... these ears... this BODY.... and use it all for YOUR GLORY!!!!

Thank you for the silence. You are there.

I looove you Lord. In Your GLORIOUS Name!
amen.

Thank you for sharing in these moments of victory with me. It's been a loooong time coming.
May He bless your journey today.... and reveal His plan to you in new and amazing ways!

Be blessed... Be Loved,

Tracye

You are a Masterpiece!

Hi there....

Short blog this morning... but I wanted to say I appreciate you sharing this journey with me...
I pray that what I share is encouraging and reassuring to your heart and mind.
You are wonderful in ways you have not yet comprehended... and today, I expect the Lord to reveal to you at least one more reason why he called your creation good!
May He reveal what some of those innumerable thoughts are... and let you in on the rhythm of His heartbeat for you.
Today is another one of His masterpieces!
Enjoy it.
Cherish it....
and don't be afraid to expect what's best!

My mind and heart are full of gratitude today.... and it is an honor to pray for your day.
You are soo special and in God's ability you can complete well... each task that faces you this day!

Precious Father....
We adore you!
We are in awe of All that YOU are!
Your grandeur is so hard for us to grasp most times.... You are so great.
And Lord, what sometimes seems just as hard... is understanding and believing that when you created us... YOU said "It is GOOD"!
Wow, Lord. Who can KNOW that... I mean really know it?
Please reveal to us how you truly feel about us today Daddy.
Open our mind and heart to truly accept your opinion as the best one.
Let us not be so wrapped up in the things of this world, that we fail to see heaven all around us... and even more WITHIN us.
We are fearfully and wonderfully made today.
We are greatful for each asset you chose for us..... beautiful eyes, graceful hands, strong shoulders, dainty noses, various and beautiful shades..... on the outside you gave us all something spectacuar......
and on the inside.... a system that no human mind has fully grasped.... a heart that beats the blood that sustains us... muscles that allow us to run, jump and praise you.
And a little deeper... you gave us a mind, will and emotions - our soul.
What a vast ocean of capabilities. You truly are great.
And the greatest and most eternal place.... our spirit.... and YOUR spirit.... living inside of us.
How YOU get covered up by all of the other things.
Today, I pray that YOUR SPIRIT within us... will shine brightly.... and speak to us... revealing the greater things!
What an honor to house the Treasure of heaven within us!

YOU are amazing!
We are Your Good!

We love you with all You've given us...
In Jesus' Name... amen.

And so today... may you work, love and play... remembering that you are fearfully and wonderfully made!

"I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Wonderful are Your works, And my soul knows it very well. " Psalm 139:14

Much love to you,

Tracye

Happy Birthday Mommy!

Today is a wonderful day..... I awoke with joy after a very beautiful weekend... full of fun times.
I'll tell you all about that later on this evening.... but this morning.... I want to celebrate the most amazing woman I know. My Mom!!!

It's her birthday... and I am sooo thankful that this is the day that she was given to this world.... and that as her story was written....she was chosen for me... and I for her. Wow! What a wonderful God... to always provide for us... in just the way we need.

My mother is perfect... for me :0)
God in His divine wisdom knew had it all planned out... He knew every tear.... every moment of screaming laughter....
He knew each tragedy and every single breathless wonder that would take place in our lives.
During each of those times in my life.... My amazing mother was right by my side!

When no one else understands.... she is there.
When I want to dance.... she plays a song.
When I need a to cry.... she too cries.

There is nothing more precious than the times that she and I get lost in praising His name.
It's so sweet... the way she'll be talking about something that the Lord has done... how He loved on one of us.... or unexpectedly showed up in a situation.... and her strong voice will break with the flood of tears. When the melody of her lyrics are replaced with a quiet lifting of her hands and a stream flows down her cheek....
It is then that I understand why Daddy bottles each one of our tears.

She is beautiful.
She is Loves lavishly.
She is strong and sweet.

I am so thankful to know her.... to watch her grow even as I grow up.
To cherish the memories of childhood.... and now enjoy calling her my Friend.

I wish I could be there with her today.... to wrap my arms around her... and kiss her on the cheek 20-too-many times as I love to do... (laughing).
But it's okay.... because I know that there is Someone Who loves and adores her even more than I do.... and HE will celebrate her fabulously today! Unexpected blessings will overtake her today... and peace will drape over her ... as the finest garment.

Thank you Mommy... for simply being you! I love you so much!

Sweet Father,

I love you.
Even as the tears fill my eyes this morning... I am sooo thankful.
You truly make all things beautiful... and my life is no exception.
Today... I celebrate on my most precious gifts in this life... My mother!
Lord... she is so special... and I am so greatful that you chose her for me.
You could not have picked a more perfect woman.... she is fabulous in every way.
Thank you.
I stand in awe of your ways, Lord.
As this day progresses, Father... I pray that she will feel just as special as she is.
May you allow her to be celebrated well!
Wrap Your great Love around her.... and respond to her every prayer.
Bless her with Your finest blessings.... and most of all give her even more of You!
In the Name of Jesus....with a heart overjoyed...
amen.

Have a beautiful day,
Tracye

Snowed In

It's snowing in Nashville today.... too bad I couldn't get a picture of the beautiful view in time for this post.

I'm happy to enjoy the scenery and the relaxation.
I'm a little sad that the roads are not safe for my drive to Atlanta to see my family.

So I thought I put a few pics up of my family..... since I was reminiscing anyway.

Here's one of my cutie-pie nephew. He's great friends with Elmo :0)




My Mom and Dad will be at my sisters house this weekend.... and I was suppose to join them... but we all thought it best not to make the drive :(

Here's the girls of our family... My mommy, sister Trina and me. This was taken during my nephew's naming ceremony. He was sooo little! My Mom made the little prince outfit he had on... wasn't he adorable!














So here's me and my little buddy back at Thanksgiving.... he was only a few weeks old then.

And here's Cutie-bug again... with my brother Hines. I've always said he's the prettiest kid my parents had :0)




Putting all of these pics on here today... I realize that two people are missing from my collections.... My brother Shedrick (his precious family) and my Dad!!!
Well that will have to change!!!!

I love my family so much....
It is such a blessing to have them close enough to get together often.

My prayer today, is that you know how much you are loved.
Even though I'm a bit saddened by not being with them.... I am full of the Love that we have given one another in times past. I am reminded today, to cherish those moments always.

Maybe this little message could be encouragement or confirmation to you today.... to pick up the phone or write out a card for the ones you call family. Hold them close for as long as you have them. For tomorrow is not promised, right?

Dear Daddy,

Thank you so much for my family..... for the great joys and the deep sorrows that have filled our years together. Lord, I see you often, in the optimism of my father, the diligence and leadership of my sister, the passion and humor of my brother Hines, the analytical wisdom of my brother Shedrick, and the beautiful heart of my mother. What a contrast of characters you chose to blend into this family. Your ways are far higher than ours.... and I'm trusting that as they have blessed and enriched my life, I am doing the same for them.
Thank you for our health... our wealth... our love and most of all for our Faith.... for that is what led us to YOU.
May You know Lord, today... just how much Your family Loves you!!!
We bless and honor you and give you all the glory.
In Jesus' Name,
Amen

Have a relaxing and worry free weekend.... and for those of you here in Nashville, enjoy the snow!!!

Lovingly,
Tracye

You're Not Alone

I'm running a little late today...
Don't you love those mornings (great sarcasm :0)

Actually... it's not that I'm running late... it's just that the "messies" caught up with me this morning and I had to spend some of my quiet time calming the storm in my bedroom... laughing.
You have to laugh while you're working on your idiosyncrisies..... or you'll end up in tears.
Well at least that's my story.

Speaking of the storm in my bedroom.... there are a few storms in my life right now....
the heaviest on my heart is the one at work. To make a loooong story really short.... we are a group of 3 women (I could stop right there), 2 guys and a boss.... who are building a dept that upon our arrival was an overwhelmed effort of 2 people... doing the job of 6.
As you can imagine.... having to put processes in place and define things can become a blame game, a chance to "shine", and ..... well you can fill in the blanks I'm sure.

Right now... work is a challenge. And you know... I'm so happy this morning to say that I am excited.
Now before you close the page on me.... let me just tell you why.

It's not that I haven't shed tears.... been angry and ready for revenge...
It's not that I haven't been ready to defend myself or get someone straight.

The reason I am excited is because when people around me try to make me feel "alone"... it is in those times that the Lord shows me just how close He is! He is right by my side at work... and anywhere else I go.

He is a ready defender.
HE said "Touch not my anointed and do my prophet no harm".
HE said to "Take no thought about provision" (Tracye's translation).

Yesterday was a tough day.... and after ranting it out and getting myself upset all over again... I walked into my room and happened to go to Jason Upton's website. As I continued to surf the web... I realized that the song playing on his website was repeating.... one time, two times and a third time. Though I thought it was soothing... I was still so angry that I hadn't been listening to the words:

Your not Alone
Your not Alone...
I never leave you
I never leave you!!!

over and over again it played..... and I began to realize that He was speaking to me.

I hadn't realized that beyond all of the other issues... the deepest one I was facing was the lie of the enemy that I was alone.... especially concerning my job.
He reminded me that I am not alone at work.
Who can make war with our God?
Who can come against the Creator of the Universe?
Who can stand in His Presence?

Once again.... I've been changd. I'm going to work today... KNOWING that NO WEAPON FORMED AGAINST ME WILL PROSPER!!!! My Great God is on MY SIDE!!!!!

I'm excited to see the wicked plans fail.
I'm intensely aware that He is with ME today.. and everyday.
I am free of anxiety and worry... because He'll give me the wisdom, the patience and the supernaturally ability to do an awesome job at any task that comes my way!!

I am not alone!

And neither are you!
Remember today.... whatever the tough situations.. and in whatever way that the enemy is trying to tell you that you're out there by yourself.... Remember!

YOU'RE NOT ALONE
YOU'RE NOT ALONE
HE'LL NEVER LEAVE YOU
HE'LL NEVER LEAVE YOU!!!!

With Greatful Love,
Tracye

Suprised by LOVE

Yesterday was such a wonderful day. For the first time in such a looooong time, Valentine's Day was a JOYFUL day in my life. Not because I had some amazing romantic encounter, 3 dozen roses or an engagement ring from the man of my destiny.... but simply because the Lord caused a heart change in me during the wee hours of the morning. In that time.. as I poured out my heart, he was pouring back in. Refreshing my wells, if you will.

I'll share with you one of my "fears" about Valentine's Day.... that every woman around me... at work, home and anywhere else will be "celebrated" while I rejoice with and for them yet another year. I know... it's not nice.... but it's unapologetically real.
That's one of those hurts that I wanted to really release to Him.
As I talked and listened... I realized something.
What is going on in me.... what has happened to my mind and heart.
I began to notice that there were no tears this year.... my heart didn't hurt... and my mind was not confused!!! I was actually EXCITED about walking out this Valentine's Day!!!

Well I don't know about you.... but this was BIG for me :0)

So I went to work... loved on everyone and received their love.... and it was just a sweet sweet day. It's been very busy so the time passed quickly.
Around 2 in the afternoon... IT happened :0)

"Someone has a delivery... someone has a delivery"!! And I'm thinking... awww that is soo sweet.
Well coming straight for me is a great, big, purple stuffed bunny(now affectionately named "Lavender" and a precious heart vase with yellow and red roses!!!!!

To my absolute shock and DELIGHT they were for ME!!!!

How totally amazing!
How totally like LOVE:0)

Needless to say, I was so completely blown away. I had no idea.

I share this story not to brag at all.... or to make you sad .... but to encourage you.

Those roses and that sweet little bunny were from my Father in heaven.... sent by my earthly angel.... my Best Friend in this life... Reco!

Reco.... let me just boast a little about the Jesus in Him.
He is THE MOST HUMBLE and loving person I have ever encountered. He has been through hell and back.... and all with a radiant and triumphant smile on face. He is completely and solely in Love with His Creator... and is daily surrendering his all for the Glory of God.
I am encouraged by him.
I am taught by him.
I am changed by the Love of the Lord through him.
I am so very greatful for all that he is!
HE is like Valentine's every single day of my life... I kid you not.

I pray that you too, have someone in your life who exemplifies Jesus.... someone who is outside of themselves and longing to always be only in Christ.
That's Reco for me.

I pray that one day, I will be that for someone too.

Nancy Keeth has affectionately termed this type of person your "Tony the Beat Poet".
We're reading the book "Blue like Jazz"... and there is a character in the book by this name.
In short... it is the type of person who keeps you real.... keeps you honest.... and I'll take the liberty of saying that they keep you close to themselves but even closer to Christ!

Thank you, Reco.
Thank you, Nancy.

Dear Daddy...Dear LOVE,

I want to publicly thank you for walking through the day with me yesterday. We had such a great time in the wee hours of the morning. Thanks for loving on me the way you do.
No one in this world can be as sweet as you are.
No one in this world can be as lovely and keep me in love with them as much as I am with You!
You are amazing!
I was soooo suprised yesterday when you showed up with the Bunny and the Flowers!
Thank you.... for dispelling a 30 year old lie... that I was undeserving of that type of affection.
Thank you... for breaking that bondage in my head and heart.

One gift, Lord. Just one.... how it can change a person's life.
YOU are that gift for me.
And even still you choose to give me more.
Thank you for Reco.... bless him 100 fold for his obedience to you.

Thank you so much for all the ways that you prove your love .
amen

I love you all.... and pray that you are encouraged!
Have a fabulous day.... u2 may be suprised by LOVE (I hope so),

Tracye

Be Mine

Here's my little Valentine!
Isn't he precious?!!
This is my sweet nephew.....Tayo is his name.... and he has captured my heart.


I hope that today is a joyful one for you!

This morning has started earlier than usual for me. My eyes popped open at about 130 am.... (okay so I went to bed extremely early too. Yes, it was only 745p.... but I was sleepy... and now it will definitely be a Starbucks morning)!!

Waking up early is one of my favorite things about this life. When everything is quiet, peaceful and still, I feel most right with the world. I don't know about you... but my thoughts are loud and my mind is noisy... so it's in the Quiet Hours of the morning... that my soul can stop shouting over the volume of distractions and responsibilites of each day.
Here.. I find true rest.
Here... I find real peace.
And most of all, Love.

As I was catching up on some emails this morning.... I came across a beautiful expression of this Love.... and it is the first of the many precious gifts that the Lord shall give to me this Valentine's Day. I want to give this gift to you.... praying that it will bless you too.

Fill my cup, Lord.
I hold it up to you with outstretched hands,
My heart parched and thirsty for your living water.
Fill my cup with your love, Lord.
Help me to feel your hands holding mine,
feel your arms around me, feel your love empowering me.
Fill me with quietness and encouragement and trust.
Help me to live for you when trials, difficulties,
and storms hit me and those I love so deeply.
Help me not to give up when giving up seems easier.
Help me to trust you when I don't feel like trusting anymore.
When I know pain, fill my cup with prayer.
Teach me the secrets of service and surrender.

Fill my cup, Lord. I lift it up to you.
Lift me up to do your will with love and sacrifice,
Never forgetting what you sacrificed for me-
Your Son.
My Messiah.
My Lord Jesus Christ.
Help me, Lord, to accept where I am now.
Help me to know I'm not stuck forever in my circumstances.
Help me remember that the windows do open
and that fresh breezes do blow in
and that living water forever flows
and that those who ask receive.
I'm asking, now, Lord.
I'm holding my cup in my hands,
And I'm asking you to fill it . . . with you.
. . . .
And when my cup springs a leak,
As earthen vessels are prone to do.
Then I'll just have to ask again,
Trusting in your love
To fill me again . . .
Amen

Happy Valentine's Day to you..... My prayer today is that you not be found empty.... but that you would know the depth of His Great Love for you! That above all the other voices... you would hear His the loudest.... gently asking you to "Come... and be mine"!

With an overflowing heart!
Tracye

Life Happened

It's been a while since I posted on here.... and even longer than that since I've been faithful to sharing consistently. I will begin my attempt again today.

I am not good at continuing things.... I am great at new beginnings and I thrive on change to a great extent.... it's the gind that gets me. You know, once things are not new anymore, I seem to lose interest in them. I'm not sure where that began in me because I don't always remember being that way. Maybe it was a place of pain.... a massive disappointment that caused such harm to my loyalty. Who was it? What was it..... that happened to that young, sweet, people-loving, always-on-the-go, optimistic (to a fault in some people's eyes), completely dedicated person I used to be?

Life happened.
Other people's issues of control happened.
God answering NO to my most heartfelt prayers happened.
"I don't see you that way" happened (again and again)
Separations from all I knew and love happened.
Rejection happened

It's not hard to understand the reasons why.... if I just take the time to think about it? Deep down, I already know. But I have stuffed those hurtful experiences down in the past and instead of really being that wonderful person I enjoyed being.... I TRIED to be her when I really wasn't.
Pain had caused me to become severely numb to LIFE in general.....and when I looked, I saw someone else's image staring back from the mirror.

There she was..... a cold, uncaring, unresponsive, broken mess. Nothing like the girl I knew... the girl I assumed I'd always be.

So, a year ago..... the thawing out process really began. I've learned many many lessons about this crazy and wonderful thing we call Life.

In this blog.... I will share about those lessons.... about the JOYs and pains..... the Great thing and those things that tear my heart to pieces.

To me.... that is such a necessary part of Ministry.
Tracye Dukes Ministry.... is all about serving.... the heart and the mind of all who will allow.
All I have to give, is all that I have been given.... all that I have survived.... and all that God is through me.

I pray that today, you to will take what has happened in your life... and with God's help.... allow it to minister to someone else.

Love and blessings,
Tracye

Romans 8:28-29 (This came to mind... but I encourage you to read the 8th chapter in the Message Bible if you can.... it is soooo good!!!) Romans 8

28 That's why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good.
29 God knew what he was doing from the very beginning. He decided from the outset to shape the lives of those who love him along the same lines as the life of his Son. The Son stands first in the line of humanity he restored. We see the original and intended shape of our lives there in him.

Precious Gifts!

My amazing sister Trina... and my beautiful new nephew Tayo... having fun washing the do!



Isn't this a fun shot!
For all who have never met her... I have a really amazing woman that I am privileged to call my sister. Her name is Trina Dukes....whoops,... I mean Trina Ashadele!
She's my upclose Oprah!
laughing....

Well for those of you who know how much I love Oprah.. that's a reallll big compliment!
Anyway... I love my big sister dearly.... and although we were not the best of friends growing up... I am truly enjoying this new and wonderful chapter in the story of our sisterhood!

It was only two very short months ago that Trina gave birth to the little one who has stolen my heart! He is so very precious to me.... a true gift from God.

There are many more pics to come.... I just thought this one was so adorable... I wanted to share it right away!

Today... be blessed! Embrace Who and What you have... enjoy them completely. They are a precious gift to you!

Love you all,
Tracye

Keep that Love

Can we keep love.

I live with two of the most amazing people I have ever met.....and I don't say that because they are perfect.... surely they are not. And neither am I.
We are a patchwork family... from different cloths, yet knit together with the love of God.

Mama Hight and Reco have accepted me into their home....not as a fair-weather friend or a visitor. They have given me not only a beautiful place to stay, continual gourmet meals and kindness overflowing.... they have given me their hearts and unconditional love at all times.
There is not a day that goes by that I don't realize that God alone could provide for me all that He has through them... and I am forever grateful.

Upon reflection... the past year of my life has been filled with people who were willing to open their homes to me. Being so independent in nature... this season of "needing others" has been difficult and yet refreshing. It has shown me purity of heart and motive... and also shown me the lack thereof....in myself and others.
By being on the receiving end of such giving people... I am changed forever.
Before this time of community came into my life, I was not as open and accomodating to others... and probably would not have been able to receive someone into my personal space, as they do.

There are so many excuses we all can use .....finances, not enough space, not wanting to share personal space, "I have to have it this way or that", they must respect my home by doing things this way.... the reasons are endless if that is the mindset.

It is only now... because of this new chapter in my life that I can clearly see that there is a portion of the word that the Body of Christ has not been great at following. I will be the first to admit that this has been vital for seeing beyond my self righteous attainment. So often in scripture the Lord commands us to put others before ourselves... and yet I find myself falling short of that.

One thing that Mama Hight always says when we're talking about relational issues is that "If you keep that Love... it all will work out". The first time she said it, I chuckled inside because of the way she said "Keep that Love".... but now I remember that phrase throughout my day. It doesn't matter whether I'm dealing with a client who's preoccupied, a friend who doesn't do or say things as I would like for them too, a family member who is unresponsive or my own inconsistencies with self and others... I remember to first love myself and then my neighbor in the same way.... and as long as Love is in the mix... it will all work out.

Maybe this all comes a little easier for you... but I put forth a challenge. Why not today, try something a little different.... (okay, so maybe you're already doing this...then kudos to you, really..... but if you're not...)
When you feel those negative thoughts and feelings arising about yourself or someone else.... do yourself a favor and Keep That Love. Ask yourself if you've done all you can (notice I did not say all you want) to express love to that person who's on your mind or heart. If there is tension... reach out to them with love... no matter who's fault the problem is. Unconditional grace is such a beautiful thing to both give and receive.

I guarantee that if you do something different... and Keep That Love.... things will work out all right!

With a Happy Heart!
Tracye

P.s. Here's a little scripture bonus that'll bless you :)


The Message
Matthew 25 Read This Chapter
25:34 -46
"Then the King will say to those on his right, 'Enter, you who are blessed by my Father! Take what's coming to you in this kingdom. It's been ready for you since the world's foundation.
And here's why: I was hungry and you fed me, I was thirsty and you gave me a drink, I was homeless and you gave me a room, I was shivering and you gave me clothes, I was sick and you stopped to visit, I was in prison and you came to me.'
"Then those 'sheep' are going to say, 'Master, what are you talking about? When did we ever see you hungry and feed you, thirsty and give you a drink?
And when did we ever see you sick or in prison and come to you?'
Then the King will say, 'I'm telling the solemn truth: Whenever you did one of these things to someone overlooked or ignored, that was me - you did it to me.'
"Then he will turn to the 'goats,' the ones on his left, and say, 'Get out, worthless goats! You're good for nothing but the fires of hell.
And why? Because - I was hungry and you gave me no meal, I was thirsty and you gave me no drink, I was homeless and you gave me no bed, I was shivering and you gave me no clothes, Sick and in prison, and you never visited.'

"Then those 'goats' are going to say, 'Master, what are you talking about? When did we ever see you hungry or thirsty or homeless or shivering or sick or in prison and didn't help?'
"He will answer them, 'I'm telling the solemn truth: Whenever you failed to do one of these things to someone who was being overlooked or ignored, that was me - you failed to do it to me.'
"Then those 'goats' will be herded to their eternal doom, but the 'sheep' to their eternal reward."

Me.....Purity?

"Purity is the power to contemplate defilement."
Simone Weil

I have been in the process of writing a book... well let's say for about a year now. Laughingly, I am getting around to pinning down the central idea.
Now before you shake your finger at me... or roll your eyes in frustration at another one of my attempts to start something... let me say that I had absolutely no clue what it would be like to give life to such an organization of thoughts and ideas. The vast amount of time in research that is needed can be a convenient reason to procrastinate. And if that doesn't get you... let's talk about having to live with and live out the ideas that you are talking about. Now that's hard.

My first subject was purity.
I'm not sure you can imagine what it meant to walk that one out. You see, I was not talking as much about sexual purity, as I was about being single-minded, pure in motivations and truthful in all aspects of your daily life...whether at work, home, church, or just hanging out.
What amazed me most, was how unwilling people were to talk about this issue of purity... and how uncomfortable they were with not only the subject at hand, but their true feelings about it.

Then there was me. How did I really feel about purity??
Each day when I awoke and made my cross country trek into the city... sat down to my Latte in my Book-Writing Office aka Starbuck's, I was plagued with thoughts of my own life.
Often times, I wondered why in the world, I would be the one to write on this subject. Shouldn't this be done by my Pastor, or my wonderful friend who is the picture of femininity and quiet grace. You know.. we all have at least one.....that person who is so soft spoken, gentle and "precious" that you're sure she's never ever said the wrong thing.
Well that's surely not me. So if we're talking about purity.... I KNOW that I have not ranked in the top 100.
But then, I began to think about how Jesus' blood has washed us. How HE, ALONE is our purifier. And He knew that I and Miss Purity herself, would not be able to walk out this life without ever being defiled.

So... I finally got a clue that there wasn't anyone who qualified to write that book more than me.
We all, as fleshly beings are defiled on many different levels... and can't always see it for ourselves.
Is it my job to point out society's problems... no, not necessarily. But it would be nice to have someone willingly bring it up. Once the idea is out there, maybe someone else will open their heart... and talk about what isn't so comfortable.

Anyway, my prayer is that my musing today, will at least nudge you to ponder the issue of purity in your own life. Think about it... examine your heart, your thoughts, your interaction with others.
Are you walking in purity?
In mind? Heart? Deed?
What can you do about it?

Good questions...and your answers are what matters most.

I'll gab on about this topic a bit more in a later post.
Stop back by when you can.
Until then, let's pray:

Father, God.... Just as you have had me on this path to greater purity... I pray that my friend will begin to seek the same. Lord, may it not be for anyone else's glory but yours... that we desire clear motives and pure actions....as we seek You.
We realize that your son, Jesus is our only true Purity... and through the power of the Holy Spirit, we'll be more and more like Him each day

In Jesus Name, Amen.

Tempered Glass

A nice glass of wine 


It is during the tough times, that we grow.
From the challenges, we learn compassion.Right?
While we were in prayer tonight at a Youth Gathering that I helped out with, I saw a vision.
There were several wine glasses on a belt in a factory. They were being “made”. There was not anything fancy about them, rather they were your typical clear, goblet styled drinking glasses that you would normally drink water or iced tea from at a reception or banquet.I could see the wine fade in and out (so that I would know that these particular glasses werets were made for the purpose of holding wine). All in lines, the glasses were traveling down the conveyor belt and heading toward a tunnel. I heard the word “tempered”… and had a “knowing” that I should study the process of tempering glass.This research proved to be so rich… and the message therein was quite powerful.

We are alot like those wine glasses... meant to hold something that is costly and of great value... and our lives are much like that of the process that glass goes through to be tempered.
In short, part of the tempering process is to apply great heat to ordinary glass... which gives it a strength far greater than a plain, untreated piece of glass. Because it has gone throughthe fire, it can now withstand more adverse conditions, like heat and pressure.
Aren't we the same?
Though it doesn't feel good to go through the "heat" of life.... once we have made it through, we are able to deal with more difficult times without breaking.

Another characteristic of tempered glass is that when it does shatter, it breaks into smaller, less jagged fragments... instead of the long, sharp slithers that it would become had it not been tempered.
And such is our life. When we have not been tempered... or gone through heat and pressure, we are more prone to hurt one another. In our brokenness, we are sharp and cutting... whether we want to be or not.

Maybe you feel the heat and pressure of life right now. Be encouraged... your adversity has not come to break you... but to make you stronger! Allow the tempering to take place.
You too, shall be a stronger, less hurtful, more beautiful vessel because of it.

Soli Deo Gloria,
Tracye

Endless Journey

Driving in D.C.

At this time last year, I was living in the Washington D.C. area. Actually my residence was in Owings Mills, Maryland which was about 74 miles from the city. That 74 miles, my friend, was my daily drive to work! What a wonderful time (I must admit that there are shades of sarcasm and disgust here applied...haha).

Never in my life could I have ever imagined what those 2 months of driving an average of 160 miles per day would be like. For me, it was one of the most difficult challenges of my life.
Not only did each new day bring what seemed like miles and miles of endless road... it also brought thoughts and longings for my family and friends who were now all thousands of miles away (with the exception of two very special friends Renee Tassone and Tiffany Blunt), questions of whether the opportunity that brought me there would be the best one for me, concerns that the present provision would actually last and a deep sense of loss for the land that I love, Nashville.

There were so many things going through my head and heart at that time. So much that those highway miles became both a friend and foe.

It was on those long drives that my soul became exposed. There was no wrong or right way to feel when my heart needed healing and the miles seemed endless. I remember a time when it felt as though the Lord said...."Ahhhh, now I've finally got you all to myself". Many days tears streamed down my face... and at night, I was often too stunned to cry.

In retrospect, this stretch of my life's road was one of the most profound experiences that I will ever have. I wish I could say that I was happy there.
I wish I could say that I really miss it. Though there are moments from that season which I will cherish... and daily disciplines that I would like to be able to continue now that I am back home... I do not want to return to that lifestyle.
There, I was challenged.
There, I was provoked....
And there, I learned more about owning my life than ever before.

As Christians, we ARE on an Endless Journey. Sometimes the particular stretch of road we're on seems lonely and deserted. At other times, it's far too congested... and becomes gridlocked with no place to run from all of the pressure, responsibilites and needs.

Have you ever been in eight lanes of traffic going no where?
Now I can laugh, but at the time... all I could do is cry after the clock hit the 20 minute mark and my Ford had only "explored" a little over a mile of roadway.
That day, because of the rain, my normal hour and a half drive home turned into a three hour ordeal. It was then, that I had my introduction to what road rage is all about. Tears streaming down and cars everywhere you look... a sea of people, all stuck on the same journey... and then there's that one obnoxious person who decides that he wants to cross 6 lanes of traffic. It was then that I felt a sharp desire to violently react... to scream... honk wildly and possibly even gesture. Lord, help me!

Have you ever felt that way? Had road rage on this life's journey?
I have.

But just like that day in the car, I have to take a deep breath... call on the Lord for help.... sing a little louder and keep on going.

No matter what speedbumps, detours, rain or other obstacles present themselves.... we are on that Endless Journey... and with each new day, we learned another way to enjoy the ride.

Change of Face

Here I am... the girl of many faces!


It has been such an interesting endeavour to begin to study 1st and 2nd Corinthians. As I was considering what to share today... I came across this picture collage created some time ago...out of old and new pictures. Looking at it again, it made me ponder the many faces that I exhibit to the world. Have you ever stopped to think about that? What do you really look like to the people around you?

2 Corinthians 3:17-18 states: ( Read This Chapter )
Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty.
But we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as from the Lord, the Spirit.

There have been many transformations in my life.... my hair has changed (often)....my smile, my laugh, my style. All of these changes were visibly seen. Yet the greatest and most glorious changes were not as clearly seen. They took place in my heart. The more I allowed the Spirit of the Lord to inhabit my life... the more those around me could see His image beginning to shine forth.

Daily, this process continues for all of us. With faces as mirrors, we reflect the glory of Christ.
We do so by taking on His features... His characteristics.
Do your eyes continue to sparkle with hope... when you see the darkness in this world and those around you?
Your smile... does it linger... though you face the insensitivity of a stranger, or the misunderstanding of a friend?
Are your lips soft with kind words...whether they are appreciated or rejected?
From glory to glory each day, may we be changed.

May we see more of Jesus in us today,
Tracye

Glory to God, Alone

I am a ponderer...constantly wondering and longing
for the One Who has captured my gaze.

It is such an honor to serve the Lord, boldly!

After many years of running away from complete surrender.....Here go I :)

May this publicized journal be done only to Glorify
God through obedience in sharing All of the gifts He has so lavishly poured upon me.

I invite you to share... feel free to leave comments and/or contact me by email at anytime.

Soli Deo Gloria,

Tracye